New Fandango

My wife picked out an expensive new ceiling fan. While I was installing it, I noticed a red tag with some printing on it, but I was eager to proceed, so I figured I’d read it after the fan was up and running. I followed the directions and included the extra bracing for the fan. When I was done installing it, I proudly called in my wife to admire it. As I flicked on the switch to take our new fan for its maiden spin, the fan immediately unscrewed itself from the threaded support pipe and came whirling down in what looked like slow motion and crashed to the floor. The fan was a complete wreck, there were ugly scratches in our brand new hardwood floor, and you can guess what my wife had to say! When I finally got around to reading the red tag, here’s what it said: “After the pipe is screwed in, use the locking screw provided to lock the pipe onto the main support.”